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There are a lot of amazing things about being married: knowing that you’ve chosen a partner for life, having a constant companion, and getting a forever teammate.

But it’s also undeniable that even the most incredible marriage is not free of challenges.

“Marriage is a commitment that comes with its good days and bad.

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“Often stresses in the relationship will be reflected in a diminished desire for sex by one or the other,” says Kenneth Jedding, LCSW, a psychotherapist and author.

“Sex will ebb and flow in a long marriage and, frankly, a long marriage, if good, will be about love more than sex.” In short, sex isn’t the be-all and end-all of your relationship, so it shouldn’t be the only way you measure the success of your marriage.

Sit down together and decide who gets to be the captain of what.” That way, you’ll each have your own domain to have a say over.

“In the beginning of relationships when everything is hot and new, sharing fantasies and being experimental may be an integral part of the getting-to-know-each-other process,” says Shula Melamed, a relationship and wellness coach based in NYC.

Planning a wedding is fun, but planning your actual marriage is way more important.