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Not safe in terms of risk and STDs.) So why the sicko cheater? Why make special transportation arrangements when they can drive your truck? So, this person was in your circle before, and in your circle they remain. Why pay by the hour for a hotel when your bed is available?

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In order to come to any adult reckoning with an affair, the betrayed must avoid wallowing too long in the warm bath of righteousness. Here’s a new idea deserving of a TED talk — Stand by your man!

For a period immediately following the revelation, a certain amount of wild rage and sanctimony is permissible, but after that the rigorous work of exploring the meaning and motives of an affair must begin.. Reframe his fucking around as natural and monogamy as complicated. I suppose Perel’s defense to the femi-nazi self respect diktat is that women are free to be entitled assholes just like men.

How else do you explain one of the OW being invited to your wedding?

It’s not enough risk-taking to just cheat, you have to amp up the drama — you have to flaunt it right under your chump’s nose.

For a moment, the wall of privacy around a marriage is breached and everyone gets to peer in and make assessments. Gosh, it all has a certain victim-shaming quality that I’m just sure victims of sexual harassment can’t relate to one bit. #littlepeopleannoyme #suckmydick #feelthemotivation Those who show willingness to forgive infidelity risk being chastised by friends and relatives for their lack of gumption.