You would think “don't be a dick” would be obvious, but there are apparently legions of people (mostly dudes) who adopt crappy pick-up artist tactics in their online dating lives, and think they might get lucky by sending vaguely (or blatantly) insulting messages to unsuspecting recipients (negging is actually a thing! Is there some low-self-esteem lady out there who might respond to a message about how ugly she is?
Sure, maybe, but the odds are slim — and since this is the internet, even women who have been strongly socialized to be nice to cretins in bars are able to hit the delete key.
You’re better off ditching the crappy, manipulative dating tactics and sending a nice, normal message.
Unless both of you make it clear in your profiles that you are on this site for sex and only sex, keep the message PG – yes, even if there’s a mention of something sexual in the person’s profile, and yes, even if you think your sexual reference is cute or funny or clever.
) Does her profile say she’s a lesbian and you’re a straight guy with a weakness for Justin Bieber haircuts?