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(It dimly occurred to me that I had deliberately deprived myself of a potentially fun evening in favor of solitary moping, but I pushed that thought aside.) The Rules, if followed correctly, sometimes meant you spent a Saturday night alone, losing the battle to win the war, so to speak. "I need a word from the audience," said one of the comics. I debated going out to talk to him, but decided against it. 3: "Most men find chatty women annoying.") After an hour, I pulled down the tiny arm of my first cellphone and called my mother. 6, "Always End Phone Calls First") and listened to my beau weep in the backyard. (Evan Kafka/Getty Images) Just as we walked in the door, he said, "I don't do latex." We stood in silence for a moment.

Your full social calendar — even if it was a pack of lies — inflated your value in a potential mate's eyes. No slouch at fixing up houses herself, she said, "He's banging at a concrete pad with a sledgehammer? "Just banging the concrete and crying." "I think you should go home," she said. This is incredible to me now, but I didn't take a cab home. Despite his behavior, he felt familiar to me in a way that New York men didn't. "You know," I said in the lighthearted voice all women use when they've decided to flee but don't want to tip their hand.

"Do you understand that if you leave now, it's over?

" he shouted, as he followed me out of the lobby and onto the sidewalk to the waiting car.

In her later interviews with post-college men and women, Dr. Lamont did, that the fear of appearing "desperate" kept women from taking the overt lead in dating. Bogle whether this is a case of men not actually knowing what they want and women deciding it for them? Men can say, "I'd like women to do the asking and the paying," but nonetheless the moment she reaches for the check feels awkward, for both the man and the woman.